Steve Lopez and Murray's Narrative Techniques

I really enjoyed reading Steve Lopez's Strangers' paths cross, and a boy's life hangs in the balance. While he was telling the story, I felt like i was on the edge of my seat wondering what was going to happen to the boy and if he would make it out alive.



Right away, Lopez starts to set the scene by saying...

"Ten-year-old Danny White, red-haired and freckled, was riding his skateboard while his mother walked a friend's dog.Ron Dobson was on the corner after a day of revisions on a screenplay, enjoying the feel of the afternoon sun on his face, eyes closed and head tilted back.

Myra Crowe was on her way to a ballet class for one of her three kids, all of whom were in her Honda Pilot as she headed out of her town house driveway and onto Palisades Circle at the very moment Danny approached.Crowe never saw him."

I liked how he wrote it. It wasn't just told, he really painted a picture for us, and the last sentence in a way gives you chills because you know something bad is about to happen.



There isn't too much dialogue, but what is there is good.

"Lady, you were dragging a kid under your car," Dobson told her, and Crowe slumped to the ground in shock.

This part of the story is good b/c it doesn't just leave the quote by itself. You also get the woman's reaction to being told she was dragging the child.



Another technique that really works in this story is the 3rd person approach. Lopez had to use it b/c he wasn't there. It works well b/c there are many people in the story and we are able to read what they all heard/saw/felt.

Crowe heard faint screams while driving the car. A chill came over her, but she still had no idea a 10-year-old was clinging to life under the floorboards.

Read this, you @#$%!

(1) Is he insulting his readers, or giving them a sly pat on the back? (2) What things about Morford's style of writing appeal to you, and what things turn you off? (3) How well suited would you guess his style is for readers in San Francisco? For online readers irrespective of location? (4) How would Morford's column fly in a conservative, Midwestern town like Springfield? With older readers? With people in your demographic? Could it be toned down without losing its appeal

Whe I first read the assiment, I expected to see all sorts of vulger language in Mark Morford's article, "Eat this, you fat, sad idiot." While I was reading it, I found it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.
For me, I don't believe he is insulting his readers, unless you are a former frat guy. He is simply telling us how he feels about fast food in our country. It is very possible for people to take offense to his style of writing. Perhaps, readers in San Fransico or other parts of California will take it more lightly then if it was published here in Springfield. Honestly, I would be surprised to see this article in the SJR.
I like his way of writing. It was opinionated, but he was able to get his point across well. This is my opinion though. Others could sit down and read the article, and as soon as it got offensive, they would turn the page, never knowing what he really wanted to say.
He used a lot more sarcasm then he did bad language, which i think helps him not loose as many readers. An example of his sarcasm can be seen in the paragraph where he talks about how we don't have laws on fast food but we do on telemarketing,
"Hell, we did it with telemarketing. One little much-needed law and boom, a national Do-Not-Call registry, and it actually mostly works and now all those vile cretins who used to call you during dinner to sell you carpet cleaning services now simply spam your e-mail account until it staggers and collapses and shuts down your e-mail server. Yay!"
It's ashame there are a lot of people out there that won't read something if it goes against their way of thinking. I would read his work again, but then again, I'm not closed minded.

Example of a Feature Story

The feature story i found was on the Chicago Tribune website. I found Something To Ask Yourself to be very informative and interesting.
For so long we have been told that a glass of wine a day is good for your health, but in this story you learn otherwise. They tell us how increased alcohol consumption leads to different forms of cancer.
This is a feature because this story isn't telling of a story that is happening right now, it took research and time to put together.
Right away the lead got my attention...
"You eat your veggies, you exercise at least a few times a week, you gave up cigarettes and hormone-replacement pills, and you have a glass of red wine every day, all because you care about your health.But one of these things is not like the others."

I liked that they gave us facts and numbers concerning the topic...
"According to comprehensive reviews of the scientific evidence, people who average just over one drink a day (100 grams of alcohol in a week's time) increase their chances of developing colon cancer by about 15 percent. For those who consume about four drinks daily, the risk is 40 percent higher."
It kept my attention and made me want to learn more so i kept reading.

One last thing i thought was interesting was the very end where they tell us about how during the month of October, Delta airlines are offering pink lemonades for $2 (the proceeds were going to fund breast cancer research), but...for $3 more you can add vodka.
I think it's kind of ironic. It just leaves you thinking and i like that when i read a story.

The Line

They built the story from the bottom and built it up from there using personal information. I thought that it was really good that they didn't use experts or historians. The people that lived through it are the real experts. They talked to people in 4 towns which could have resulted in better info since they didn't have to spend time looking all over. They used video, photos, and interviews from people that lived in those towns and the people that went to war or had family in the war in those towns.

Getting Ready to Write a Story

The topic I'm going to go with is the one about every store having their own credit cards and if it's better to maybe just have one Visa card that can do it all.
I would start off by going to a handful of stores (ex: Meijer, Best Buy, Rodgers and Hollands, Maurices, and Victoria's Secret) and getting information on opening credit cards there. All of these stores are different in their own way and it is possible that they have different rates. I would also try going to Rodgers and Hollands and ask the staff questions about their card (ex: on average how many people open a card to buy merchandise? is it usually on expensive jewlery?). It would also be interesting to be able to find people that do have mulitple cards and talk to them about why they chose to have many cards instead of one, and how do they decide what stores they own cards to.
A problem i could have with this story is that it could be too long to publish in a newspaper, but it could be good for a financial magazine.

Article Ideas

-People's fascination with yard ornaments
-Christmas lights all year long. Why do it?
-Young people, buying expensive jewlery. Could the money go to something important like school?
-Every store has their own credit card. Is it better to just have one Visa card with only one bill a month?
-Subdivisions taking over. Someday will all the fields be gone?
-Christmas decorations out before Halloween is even here.

"Surprise" according to Murray

How does Donald Murray define "surprise?"
-"In exploring the world, a writer should also look for what isn't there as much as what is, hear the unsaid as well as the said, imagine what might be."
-"The writer makes use of every sense-and even develops a few new ones."
(need to finish)